4 Tips for getting back on the horse after pregnancy

sex after babyYou know what's crazy about being pregnant and having a baby? That once you have that baby, your body is not done changing. Oh no. All sorts of things are going to happen to you physically. You thought you had gotten used to all the changes that happened during pregnancy and now you have to deal with all the post pregnancy changes and if you are in a relationship you've got this other person tickin' off the days until they can have sex with you, lookin' like six weeks can't possibly go by quickly enough and you're not even sure if you remember how to have sex after what you've been through. It's a lot and it can feel like a lot of pressure, but it doesn't have to be daunting or scary, there are tips, there are tricks.


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Here are five tips for easing back into sex after having a baby:

1. Immediately after having your baby start doing Kegels. I'm serious ladies. The reason doctors, midwives and your next door neighbor keep telling you to do Kegels is because they work. They strengthen your pelvic floor muscles, help with urinary incontinence and can make sex more pleasurable. And yes, even if you've had your baby vaginally, you can start doing them pretty much the second you pop your little angel out. Not sure how to do a Kegel? Talk to your doctor about them and please don't be embarrassed about it. Basically to do a Kegel you squeeze the muscles that stop urination, hold the squeeze and then release.

2. Check with your doctor to see if you are ready for intercourse. When you have a baby, all kinds of things can happen. There can be tearing, you may have gotten stitches and so on and so forth. Basically your uterus and cervix have been through a lot and need a chance to heal. Even if you feel good to go, having intercourse could set you up for an infection, so get the green light from your doctor before you go all the way.

3. Just because your body is technically ready doesn't mean you are. Okay, you got the green light from your doctor, you've been doing them Kegels like you are training for the Kegel Olympics, but you still don't feel like you are ready to have intercourse. You know what? Give yourself a break. Ease into. Sex isn't just intercourse. There is outercourse. There are ways that you and your partner can be intimate and be satisfied without penetration. Chances are that if you start fooling around and let yourself get hot and bothered via other sexual stimulation, you will not be anxious about intercourse anymore, you will actually crave it.

4. If at first you don't succeed... Sometimes the first time won't be that great. Does that mean it will never be great again? Of course not. Give yourself time. Try again. Try it differently.

5. Communicate with your partner. Just because you are intimately aware of what is going on with your body and what you are feeling doesn't mean your partner has any idea. Let them know. Tell them it hurts when they do something, tell them what they can do instead. Remember that they are getting used to sex after a baby too and that they love you and want to be with you and that they too need reassurance.

Image via Corbis Images

Topics: sex  pregnancy  advice  relationships