7 Things you didn't know about pregnant women

pregnantThere is this whole cult of pregnancy and motherhood thing and it is a bunch of B.S. It's time we start being honest about the whole experience. Yes, it's great, but it isn't some sort of romanticized state of being. As one friend of mine once put it, "Pregnancy isn't all butterflies and wonderful." I agree, it's a whole lot more than that and we need to talk about it so that we can all better understand pregnant women.


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Here are seven things we should all know about pregnant women:

1. Pregnant women are not lazy even when they seem lazy. You see, even when she looks like she is doing NOTHING, she is actually making another human being and that is hard work, so how dare you judge her for sittin' on the sofa at noon eating an ice cream sundae. That woman deserves a break.

2. Pregnant women want you to be over-the-top nice to them even when they act like they don't want you to. Oh yeah, give a pregnant woman your seat, give her your food if she even looks at it, if she says she's thirsty, you should get that lady some water.

3. Pregnancy brain is an actual condition. Something happens to a woman's brain when she becomes pregnant. She becomes forgetful and ditzy at times. Just go with it, it's the baby's fault.

4. Pregnant women feel things they've never felt before. Doesn't matter if before being pregnant someone was a hardened urban hipster who could walk by homeless people like it was no big thing. Once she becomes pregnant she realizes that everyone is someone's baby. Cue the waterworks.

5. Pregnant women suffer all kinds of physical indignities. Even women who have the "perfect" pregnancy, whatever that is, have to deal with things like hemorrhoids, gas, heartburn, peeing when they laugh, not being able to eat sushi without fear of endangering their child. It's not easy.

6. Pregnant women are scared. They are scared for the health of their unborn child, they are worried about their own health, they are terrified that their vagina will never be the same, they wonder if they will ever be able to go braless again or if they will forever have breasts that are threatening to take over the world.

7. Pregnant women still want to be noticed for themselves. Yes, coo over their belly and all that stuff, but don't forget that they are more than just a carrier for an adorable baby. You can wait to ignore the woman until after the baby is born. I'm kidding. Never ignore the woman.

Image via Thinkstock

Topics: pregnancy  humor  advice