8 Totally weird things that happen to your body during pregnancy that no one will tell you

pregnancyWhen I was pregnant the first time, I had no idea what to expect. None whatsoever. In fact, everything was new and exciting and potentially life threatening. There were a lot of ups and downs in those first days. My hormones were out of control. I don't remember being extra moody, but then again that is one of the perks of being a moody person regularly. I do however remember feeling like everything was upside down and wishing someone had warned me of some of the weirder side effects of pregnancy and the hormones that come with being with child.

Here are some of the weird things that happen to you during pregnancy that are completely normal. So don't freak out. Well, you can a little bit but it won't help.

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Bloody gums: I am a brushaholic. I suffered through braces and it left me a bit of a overachiever in the brushing department. Unfortunately, having swollen, red, tender gums that bleed when you floss or brush and brushing like you are trying to scour the tub can be quite frightening. The condition known as pregnancy gingivitis causes your gums to become inflamed during pregnancy because of hormonal changes and that make them more sensitive to the bacteria in plaque. All of that leaves you looking like a zombie who just ripped the flesh from some poor sucker without using her hands. Gross but non-threatening.

You develop a super sniffer: The heightened sense of smell from pregnancy hormones almost killed me during both pregnancies. The increased estrogen running through your body can make every little scent feel like a full on assault on your sense of smell. This contributes to morning sickness. In fact, women born without a sense of smell do not develop morning sickness. Lucky broads. I, on the other hand, was made to barf by the scent of one of my students who smelled of food one afternoon.

Your butt, boobs and feet grow: We all expect our bellies to get bigger. It has to, a baby has taken up residence ... But first your boobs get bigger in preparation for breastfeeding. I was okay with that, even though I felt downright pornographic. Then your hips and butt grow in anticipation of the baby. It's the area that stores fat for breastfeeding. With the size my ass got, you would have thought that my milk supply was going to be plentiful. Unfortunately, my J.Lo ass was just for show. Your feet grow from swelling in the first pregnancy. Sometimes they go back to their normal size and other times they do not. If you are really lucky, they will even widen. I started with a size 8 and now am a size 8.5. I will never be a size 8 ever again. Ever.

Your vagina and tailbone feel like they are broken: Joints move around and loosen during pregnancy to accommodate our ginormous growing bellies and all the shifts in weight. This causes achy pain in your vagina and tailbone.

You have dirty dreams and you get super horny: Extra blood flow to your nether regions, raised estrogen levels, increase vaginal secretions, and sensitive breasts mean your sex drive out of control. Basically, nature is telling you, " You are already knocked up. Go enjoy yourself! Bareback if you want. Get your freak on, mama!" Your pregnancy dreams may reflect that. Go for it. I promise, contrary to your husband's belief, no fetus will be hit in the eye.

Your skin changes color or you develop skin tags: Melasma can develop and cause the skin on your face to change color due to the overproduction of melanin. This usually affects your cheeks, nose, and forehead and is more noticeable in dark skinned women. Also, skin tags may randomly pop up. This happened to me. I hate them. They are easily removable.

Crazy thick vaginal discharge: Your vaginal discharge will be thick and white, like a partially cooked egg white. It will be slimy. You may even need to wear a pantyliner to protect your panties from the leucorrhea. It's kinda gross but perfectly normal and caused by hormonal changes. Unless it smells bad or you experience pain, it is normal.

You get lots of headaches. It's not a tumor: The damn hormones, they wreak havoc on you. The surge of hormones with the increased blood volume causes headaches. Add in stress, lack of sleep, low blood sugar, dehydration and the fact that the only thing you can throw at it is a Tylenol and no wonder your head is killing you. Go take a nap and try not to stress out; it only makes it worse.

Image via Thomas Pompernigg/Flickr

Topics: first pregnancy  pregnancy symptoms  pregnancy