I'm Latina. I'm 31. I'm married. And I don't have any children. I can hear heads exploding from here.

This weekend I went to the baby shower of a very close friend of mine from high school. Most of my girls in attendance have babies already, at least the married ones.

Everyone was like, "Oh, you're next!" but the truth is: I've locked that sh*t down ladies! I got an IUD inserted a few months ago, and let me tell you, it's been a GOD send. No more thanking the heavens every time I get my period, no more freaking out if I'm 15 minutes late. It's like I can just chill out and enjoy sex without having to worry with the biological ramifications!

In other words: "MONEY!!!"

Read more ¿Qué más?How do you know when you're ready to have a baby?

But I guess not everyone sees it that way. Some people seem to feel sorry for me for reasons I haven't really quite figured out 100 percent. Maybe they think I want a baby right now and am having issues conceiving, maybe they think my mean hubby is keeping us from having a baby right away? I have no idea.

The truth of the matter is: I'm just not ready yet. I think I will be ready in a few more years--like 33 maybe for those of you demanding a time frame (hi mom!)--but definitely not right now. Oh, and the cherry on top of this no-baby sundae is the fact that I only want one child. Run for the hills!

Sometimes it seems like this makes me a total freak. It's not like I said I never wanted to have kids (though if I did, that shouldn't be a problem either) it's just that I don't want them rightthissecond. Oh, and the "One and Done" philosophy seems to just totally throw folks for a loop as well.

Culturally, this really seems to be confusing to my family, even the doctor seems in on the big rush to have children.

Read more ¿Qué más?: 10-year-old Latina girl helps her mother deliver baby sister (VIDEO)

I loved turning 30, until I realized that in just 5 short years I'd be expired. I mean, is 35 really that old? Guess what? It is! At least according to every single study done on fertility and pregnancy. Sometimes when I read fertility studies or speak to doctors about this I wonder what the hell the point of living past 35 is anyways.

OK, I am exaggerating a little bit, but for real. Our fertility rates plummet, our bodies go to hell, our metabolism slows down and if you ARE lucky enough to get pregnant by some freak accident, the chances of your baby having genetic abnormalities sky rockets. It sounds sort of crappy if you ask me.

Nonetheless, I am a planner and because of this, of course I want to have my only child (who is destined to live a life of solitude and misery as everyone insists) before I turn 35. But probably not because it's my choice or anything...

What do you think about all the hype about women's fertility after 35? Do you think I'm nuts for waiting and only wanting one child?

Image via SunJ../Flickr

About the author

Mariela is the Managing Editor of MamásLatinas for CafeMom. She's also a politics and pop culture junkie and lover of all NY sports teams (except the Mets--'cause really, come on).

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jugod...

By the way you say things I don't think you want to have any children, I mean you say you want one but you are not even sure and to be honest, I think the only reason for you to say that is that everyone is pressuring you. Not everyone wants to be a mother or in your case, not everyone is ready, so take you time thinking about it because after all, it is a big responsibility, and if you find that you don't want any children after all, then that's ok too, you don't have to pleace anyone but yourself.

marip...

@jugodenaranja LOL, I actually really DO want to have a child. It's just very frustrating when everyone feels the need to judge be about such personal decisions. I'm actually one of those people who would react to the pressure by NEVER having a kid (I'm contrarian, I guess). I just think it's rude when people tell me I'm getting really old or feel like I'm being abusive by only wanting one child.

1MrsR...

In a dream world I would like to say no one should be able to tell you by when you should have a child, BUT reality is that waiting past 35 or even at 35 is a huge risk, and we're not talking only about you here, but the baby will also be at a high risk. HOWEVER I feel that only you know yourself, mentally & physically more than anyone else, and if you're not ready, then you're not! You should be able to conceive whenever you want, at whatever age, you just have to make sure you understand all the side effects to waiting. I always said I didnt want children until after 25, but at 19 I just knew I found the right man & I was ready & WANTED a family, and so did my husband.There's no specific age where you're going to wake up & say "I'm 33, I'm ready", when you stop questioning yourself as to wether do it now or wait, then you''ll know its time.  If you/or your husband don't want a baby now, it wont work, so just wait, even if the risk does go up, when you want to be a mom you'll take every precaution needed. No one thing can really prepare you for motherhood, but the will & want to be one will get you through it. 

1MrsR...

 Now to the having 1 baby, I say the same thing, I have one & only want 1. Everyone also thinks I'm a bit nutsy, except my SIL who says she also just wants 1. I think it's a lot easier, let's face it! Babies are a work out & a lot to handle, our economy is not getting better, and the chances for people to excel (even in the USA are getting harder). I love my baby & I want to be able to give him everything he needs and wants. I want to be able to enjoy my time with him, and give him every experience/chance/opportunity I didn't get & those I did. I come from a family of 4 girls, & I would love to have 3/4 children BUT the reality is when it comes to real life I just couldn't do it. & who knows maybe a few years down the road we'll want more children & might have them, but it's a bit annoying for people to look at you llike you're insane.

marip...

@1MrsRios1 OMG, just hearing you say you feel the same way made me feel so much better. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! When you say: "I love my baby & I want to be able to give him everything he needs and wants. I want to be able to enjoy my time with him, and give him every experience/chance/opportunity" I feel EXACTLY the same way. Phew, I was starting to think maybe I WAS loca ;)

SEA0701

I couldn't agree with you more if you aren't ready yet your not and no one should really have a say in it because its your life your body your future! One of my bestest friends is 29 and has no kids yet, does she want them YES at this moment NO! I guess she feels the same way you do, because there is always older women who are always on her back about having kids!... BUT HEY, WHAT WAS THIS ABOUT "I wonder what the hell the point of living past 35 is anyways."???? To me it sounds like saying that if you cant or don't want kids then why live. LIKE WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY THAT COMMENT??

Katal...

don't feel pressured at what people tell you! you have your baby when you are ready, and sure, women's fertility does diminish after 35, but medicine now a days is so advanced, i see women in thier 40s having healthy babies. (i work at an ob/gyn office) babies will be better in a stable, well planned environment. i had my boys at  young age, but the time felt right, and they came :) when you decide to have your baby, make sure you research a good obstetrician! wish you the best :)

marip...

@SEA0701 Oh no! I didn't mean it like that. It's just like everyone has been telling me: "Oh, your metabolism slows down after 35, so you'll get fat. Your eggs dry up. You are going to be more tired." I don;t know, I feel like the world in general looks at women as though we "expire" after a certain age, but I just don;t see it like that. I know so many women (with children or without, single, married & divorced) who are living such rich lives after 35, shoot, after 50 and 60! So that comment was DEF meant to be sarcastic ;)

I HAVE FOUND A SPELL CASTER WHO HELPED ME WITH A FERTILITY SPELL AND HELPED ME HAVE MY OWN BABY. IT ALL HAPPENED WHEN MY HUSBAND SENT ME PACKING FOR NOT ABLE TO GIVE HIM A BABY AFTER 7YEARS OF OUR MARRIAGE.I ATE DIFFERENT PILLS AND NOTHING HAPPENED UNTIL A FRIEND INTRODUCED DR BABA TO ME WHO ALSO HELP HIM GET A CHILD. HE CAST A SPELL FOR ME AND I GOT PREGNANT FEW WEEKS LATER, IF YOU NEED HIS ASSISTANCE, HIS EMAIL IS extremesolutiontemple@hotmail.com OR HIS PHONE NUMBER +2347069299796
My name is kathrine, I am from UK I want to share my experience on how I got my baby, despite the doctor said I couldn't have any, because of my health, I was Barry since the year 2008 I could not give birth to babies, until one of my family friend introduce a GREAT SPELL CASTER to me called DR LAWCY, I never knew DR LAWCY could even solve my problems, when I contacted him despite the situation on ground he told me that he is going to help me, and he gave to me some herbs to take and casted some spell on me, all thanks to GOD that sent DR LAWCY to me, just after three months I became pregnant for me husband, now I am a mother of three children, I want to thank DR LAWCY for his good work, if you are out there passing through this same problem, you can also contact him on DRLAWCYSPELLHOME@GMAIL.COM and I pray to GOD that same way he helped me, he shall help you also, thanks for part of my testimony..
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