I'm waiting to have a baby and only want one (GASP!)
I'm Latina. I'm 31. I'm married. And I don't have any children. I can hear heads exploding from here.
This weekend I went to the baby shower of a very close friend of mine from high school. Most of my girls in attendance have babies already, at least the married ones.
Everyone was like, "Oh, you're next!" but the truth is: I've locked that sh*t down ladies! I got an IUD inserted a few months ago, and let me tell you, it's been a GOD send. No more thanking the heavens every time I get my period, no more freaking out if I'm 15 minutes late. It's like I can just chill out and enjoy sex without having to worry with the biological ramifications!
In other words: "MONEY!!!"
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But I guess not everyone sees it that way. Some people seem to feel sorry for me for reasons I haven't really quite figured out 100 percent. Maybe they think I want a baby right now and am having issues conceiving, maybe they think my mean hubby is keeping us from having a baby right away? I have no idea.
The truth of the matter is: I'm just not ready yet. I think I will be ready in a few more years--like 33 maybe for those of you demanding a time frame (hi mom!)--but definitely not right now. Oh, and the cherry on top of this no-baby sundae is the fact that I only want one child. Run for the hills!
Sometimes it seems like this makes me a total freak. It's not like I said I never wanted to have kids (though if I did, that shouldn't be a problem either) it's just that I don't want them rightthissecond. Oh, and the "One and Done" philosophy seems to just totally throw folks for a loop as well.
Culturally, this really seems to be confusing to my family, even the doctor seems in on the big rush to have children.
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I loved turning 30, until I realized that in just 5 short years I'd be expired. I mean, is 35 really that old? Guess what? It is! At least according to every single study done on fertility and pregnancy. Sometimes when I read fertility studies or speak to doctors about this I wonder what the hell the point of living past 35 is anyways.
OK, I am exaggerating a little bit, but for real. Our fertility rates plummet, our bodies go to hell, our metabolism slows down and if you ARE lucky enough to get pregnant by some freak accident, the chances of your baby having genetic abnormalities sky rockets. It sounds sort of crappy if you ask me.
Nonetheless, I am a planner and because of this, of course I want to have my only child (who is destined to live a life of solitude and misery as everyone insists) before I turn 35. But probably not because it's my choice or anything...
What do you think about all the hype about women's fertility after 35? Do you think I'm nuts for waiting and only wanting one child?
Image via SunJ../Flickr