During the summer, sleep in! 1
Uh, what is the point of having a summer break if you aren’t going to sleep in? During the school year I can’t wake them up on time, but during summer break they are up earlier than during the school year. Is this some kind of a cruel trick they are playing on me?
Wake mami up with cafecito 2
Learning how to brew your mother the perfect cup of Bustelo before you storm into her room demanding things really should be a part of every teacher’s lesson plan.
Don’t bother mami when she’s in the bathroom 3
Will they ever stop trying to talk to me through the bathroom door? I have to lock it because they will come in otherwise and they don’t care if it smells disgusting in there.
How to use all the remotes 5
How am I supposed to teach my kid how to use all the remotes in the house when I don't even know how to use them?
How to load the dishwasher correctly 6
This should be taught as a part of geometry or maybe video game developers should come up with a loading the dishwasher game because I’m telling you that children (and husbands) don’t seem to have a natural ability to do it well.
The correct way to squeeze toothpaste 7
If they would simply test and grade children on how you are supposed to squeeze toothpaste from the bottom of the tube, then mothers everywhere would not have to yell at their kids for always doing it wrong.
That Vicks might not cure everything, but it doesn’t hurt 8
I mean why do kids even bother fighting the Vicks cure? Put the Vicks on and if you don’t feel better we will eventually take you to the doctor, but really it’s a waste of time if you don’t try the Vicks first.
You should never tell your mother you are bored 9
Really, kid? I’m folding your chonies, reloading the dishwasher you loaded horribly and nursing your baby sister at the same time and you are gonna come up to me and tell me you are bored?! Ha! Grab a broom, start sweepin’ and let’s call it a pachanga!