A toddler can look you right in the face and straight up lie without any guilt. 

Good luck with the resale value of your car. 

Of course they don't want to get in a stroller anymore, but they can only walk like one block before they start crying to be carried. 

Heads or tails, they will spew something on your from either end at some point and it won't be pretty. 

Daylight saving time is an awful joke played on the parents of toddlers. It's just wrong. 

They get all mad when you can't understand the jibberish that they are saying. You can't tell if it's English, Spanish or quién sabe qué, but they keep saying it over and over like that will help. 

They're old enough to sleep through the night, but that doesn't mean they will. 

You might on occassion get what seems like sympathy from them, but empathy...NEVER. 

Seriously, doesn't it seem like toddlers get between you and your partner on purpose?