They lie 1

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A toddler can look you right in the face and straight up lie without any guilt.
They think they can walk WAY more than they can 3

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Of course they don't want to get in a stroller anymore, but they can only walk like one block before they start crying to be carried.
They color all wrong 4

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Not only do they not color within the lines, they don't even bother to color on paper sometimes! Ay ay ay.
They get you from both ends 5

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Heads or tails, they will spew something on your from either end at some point and it won't be pretty.
They can't tell time 6

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Daylight saving time is an awful joke played on the parents of toddlers. It's just wrong.
They make no sense 7

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They get all mad when you can't understand the jibberish that they are saying. You can't tell if it's English, Spanish or quién sabe qué, but they keep saying it over and over like that will help.
They mess with your sleep 8

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They're old enough to sleep through the night, but that doesn't mean they will.
They don't really care how you feel 9

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You might on occassion get what seems like sympathy from them, but empathy...NEVER.
They work you 10

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Just when you've had enough and you are going to get serious, their lips start trembling and tears well up in their eyes and, dang it, if you don't scoop them up and cover them in besos.
They get in the way of your love life 11

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Seriously, doesn't it seem like toddlers get between you and your partner on purpose?