An open letter to every mamá Latina who is letting go of her teenage daughter

latina mother and daughtersLetting go of my baby as she's become more independent and confident has been one of the most difficult changes as a mamá Latina. As I write this letter, my daughter, who is 19 years old, is a sophomore in college and living away from home. What has helped me deal with this transition is that she's doing well in school and she's happy. I'm fortunate to have an extremely open line of communication with her. My friends can't believe just how candid our dialogue is on the topic of relationships and sex. Since she was young, I've tried to instill a solid moral foundation, but the time has come for her to make her own decisions and to deal with the consequences. 

 

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lucia ballas-traynor and daughterMy best advice to other mamás who are going through this stage is to be open, to try not to judge her nor impose your personal beliefs on her or you will immediately shut the door.

And now to every hija and especially to my daughter Carolina:

  • No matter what he's telling you L.O.V.E. to most teenage boys means one thing, "Legs Open Very Easy"
  • Keep the stats top-of-mind: 1 in 4 college women report being victims of sexual assault
  • Remember that the consequences of a night of passion could be life long
  • Don't give in to peer pressure because YOU will have to live with the consequences, NOT your friends 
  • Quality Over Quantity: I know it's unrealistic for me to ask you to abstain from having sex, but seek those who appreciate and respect you for much more than your looks 
  • Respect yourself
  • If you are going to have sex, please use protection to prevent an unwanted pregnancy and disease. Should you get pregnant and decide to raise that child, you're on your own!
  • Having sex because you lost control while you were under the influence, is no excuse!
  • Don't think that having sex (and getting pregnant) means you have him hooked emotionally
  • Try, as hard as it is, to go beyond his looks and look at longer term
  • Please know that you can come to me no matter what

¡Te adora, tu mamá!

Images via iStock, Lucia Ballas-Traynor

Topics: advice  adult children  children  culture  family  teen  teen issues  teenager  teenagers  teens