11 Things moms think about their childless friends

what moms think about their friends with no kidsSomething happens to your friendships when you have kids. Things change especially between moms and non-moms. Non-moms keep being non-moms, but for those of us who turn into moms, well, our brains start focusing on different things. Moms start to think things about their childless friends.

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Here are 11 things that go through a mother's mind when she's hanging out with a friend that has no kids:

1. Wait?! Did she just complain to me about being tired? Please tell me she did not just complain to me about that?

2. She probably has sex all the time. I remember when I used to have sex.

3. I can't believe she's trying to get me to go do something all spur of the moment. Does she expect me to pull a babysitter out of my butt? I mean, I know I'm constipated, but I'm pretty sure it's not because I have a babysitter up in there.

4. Why doesn't she ever ask me about my kids? Doesn't she care about my kids? Hello, I have kids!

5. Oh man, is she inviting me to go or me and my kids to go? I wish she would just tell me so I don't have to ask. I hate having to ask and if I just show up with my kids, she'll freak out if the invite was only for me.

6. No, she did not just imply that having a dog is like having a kid!

7. I bet she showered today and I'll bet that when she did shower her dog didn't cry the entire time. She looks so clean and put together. I remember when I used to shower regularly.

8. I don't want to meet her at a bar, why can't she just come over here and drink wine with me so I can stay in my yoga pants.

9. What? She's asking me questions about me? How wonderful is it to talk about something other than my kids? Girl talk is the best!

10. Frack! I can't ever go anywhere with her and she still calls me even though I'm no fun anymore. I love her so much!

11. Thank GAWD there is somebody who still thinks of me as my own person instead of just someone's mother. Man, I really need to get a sitter, get out of these yoga pants and go do something fun with her.

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Topics: parenting  humor  parenting humor  friends