The 4 dumbest reasons to ban breastfeeding in public

centerOf all the pendejadas in the world that I do not understand the one that makes me shake my head EVERY single time is when people have a problem with public breastfeeding. I don't get it, I don't want to get it because it is ridiculous any which way I look at it. And the crazy thing is that it is constantly happening someone somewhere is probably being a jerk to a breastfeeding mother right now for no other reason than she had the nerve not to hide in shame while she nursed her hungry child.


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Here are the four most idiotic arguments against breastfeeding in public that I have ever heard:

1. Because a mother would be more comfortable doing it in the bathroom. Why do people always say that? Like a mother would be more comfortable feeding their child in the same room where people poop. That's insane. Maybe we should all move our toilets into the kitchen or our stoves into our bathrooms then.

2. Because it makes others uncomfortable. So what? Republicans make me uncomfortable, but I'm not trying to get them banned or to hide in toilets as I go about my business. All joking aside, recently Ingrid Wiese-Hesson dropped some serious money at an Anthropologie store and when her 6-week-old baby started to cry, she sat down and began to nurse him. Then the manager came up to her and relocated her to the restroom where the only place to sit was the toilet. Wiese-Hesson did as she was told, but was so upset about it that she called back later that day to ask why and this is what she says the manager tolder her, "She said, 'Well, there are other customers in the store, and I thought that you would be more comfortable, and they would be more comfortable, if you were to leave the sales floor.' " How you like them pendejadas?!

3. Because we're not cows. Yes, this stupid argument gets used all the time. As a matter of fact, I recently wrote a post about a mom who got kicked out of a restaurant for changing her baby's dirty diaper at a table. Gross! I said that just like I think it is ridiculous to send a nursing mom to the toilet, I think it is disgusting to change a baby's diaper where people are eating. Well, someone left a comment saying, "We're human, we have manners (or we should). Stop acting like a damn cow!" I think cows are perfectly well-mannered animals, so there!

4. Because public exposure of boobs is harmful to marriage. Patrick Johnson, a well-known member of a church in Ohio and an anti-abortion activist, has been calling for a ban on all public nudity--and that all-inclusive ban would of course include breastfeeding. It all started because his church group protests strip clubs and they recently got a bare-breasted counter protest. So why does he hate boobies so much? He says, "I think when we allow women to flaunt their sexuality to the public, flaunt their nudity to the public, it's harmful to marriage. I am sick that women can legally bare their breasts to children and to married men against their will in Ohio." Have you heard a bigger pendejada? It doesn't even make sense...

Image via Corbis Images

Topics: breastfeeding  humor  parenting