Truth be told: Spanking your child is NEVER okay
East Columbus Magnet Academy called Tekicia Yancie to inform her that her 11-year-old daughter, Jordyn Booth, was bullying someone at school. Tekicia was given the choice of deciding whether her daughter received a three-day suspension or three spanks with a paddle. The punishment was in response to Jordyn drawing a picture of a male classmate wearing long hair in pigtails. She was being a bully.
Tekicia was concerned about her daughter missing the three days of school, so she opted for Jordyn to get the paddling. Sadly, Jordyn ended up missing four days of school to recover from the injuries sustained from the paddling. The mom observed black and blue bruising on her daughter's derriere when a friend suggested she get the police involved before someone accused her of child abuse and she did.
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Now, I am as in favor of bullies being punished as anyone else but I am 100 percent against corporal punishment and I think every parent should be. I do not spank my children. I was spanked as a child, I hated it and I refuse to do it to my own children. It is brutality and intimidation at its finest and parenting at its worst. If I won't spank my child, I sure as hell am not going to allow someone else to do so. We don't have corporal punishment at our school but if we did, you can believe I would definitely opt out.
It sounds to me like Jordyn's mom was doing some lazy parenting. Firstly, why does her daughter think it's okay to bully someone? I think Tekicia didn't feel like being bothered or having her routine disrupted by a child home for three days. She didn't want the extra responsibility. Maybe she had plans on those days, I don't know. But she gave the go ahead for the school to paddle her child and her child got hurt in the process.
Tekicia even admits of her own accord that the only reason she got the police involved was because her friend warned her that it might come back on her. Someone might assume she's the one who left the bruises on the child and only then did she do something about it, out of fear of getting blamed for the bruises.
I would never allow the school to discipline my child using corporal punishment. I would never allow anyone to lay a hand on my child. There are other more humane ways to discipline a child for doing wrong. First and foremost, she should have been made to apologize to the child she bullied, maybe in front of the entire school in the form of a public apology. Secondly, her mother should have let her take the three-day suspension and then handled discipline at home with chores, taking away electronics and removal of all privileges. If her mother truly believed that she deserved a spanking, her mother should have been the one to administer the punishment.
The only thing that hitting a child does is teaches that child to be afraid. It doesn't teach respect. It doesn't explain to a child why their behavior was unacceptable. It doesn't help them to understand why what they did was dangerous or hurtful to someone else. The only thing it does is teaches the child to associate the bad behavior with who they are. They will take ownership of the bad behavior and get worse. They will get sneaky because they won't want the spanking but it will not change the behavior that precipitated the action. Bad behavior and good behavior won't be a choice of right or wrong, it then becomes about what's worth a spanking and what's not and how can I do this so no one knows and I don't get punished, rather than I shouldn't do this because I may a) hurt someone, b) hurt myself, c) it's fundamentally wrong.
Spanking doesn't make your kids afraid of doing bad; it makes your kids afraid of being caught and of being hurt. This little girl would have learned not to repeat her bad behavior if she had been given the three-day suspension and had all the things she enjoys taken away and had the time to reflect on what she did. Maybe the key to the whole thing is for her mom to teach her that it is wrong to bully people in the first place.
Image via WTVM