Truth be told: You CAN still have a spicy sex life if you have kids!
Do you co-sleep? Has it affected your sex life? People automatically assume that if you co-sleep then you are not having any hot sexy nights with your spouse and that is just not true. People pity co-sleepers and assume that our freaky sex lovemaking has been put on life support and we reserve our energy and military tactics for special occasions; also, not true.
Co-sleeping doesn't have to squash intimacy, you just have to get creative and use the rest of the house. Honestly, I think all the sneaking around and ingenuity put into our sex lives has added some spice. Sure, we may not be afforded the luxury of rolling over and having missionary marital relations, but don't underestimate the power of the heightened experience of playing the ultimate game of hide-and-seek.
We have co-slept, on some level, for the better part of the last 8 years. The girls have just this past September even pretended to start off sleeping in their room and the little one still ends up in our room at some point or kidnaps one of us to her bed. So how do parents keep the romance going?
Easy; to start with, you get yourself a conjugalorium and/or a prayer closet. A conjugalorium is your co-sleeper's unused bedroom. Go ahead, you paid for it; someone should be using it. Just remember to lock the door because once toddlers are walking, it gets way too easy to get busted and the Mommy and Daddy are wrestling excuse will only work so many times. Disclaimer: If your child has a toddler bed, remember those things have weight limits and it's hard to explain how mommy and daddy broke it.
A prayer closet is a walk-in closet that you go into to hide and have marital relations on the down low. It's called a prayer closet because when you come out to be greeted by your toddler who just heard you screaming, "Oh God!" you will need to tell them that, "Mommy was praying."
Other tips for keeping your intimacy intact while co-sleeping: Take advantage of naptime. As soon as they go down, do the same ... in another room. It's all a game of chance and you are trying to beat the clock. There is not a moment to spare. I'm not saying you will be reduced to quickies in closets and half-beds for the rest of your lives, but sometimes you will be and that is okay.
Make sure that you have a monitor in their rooms at all times. I don't care if they are 5 and 7. Do you want to get caught? Hell, I wish I would have known about baby monitors when I was a teen. I would have planted one in my parent's room and had some warning they were headed my way.
Baby gates. They are not just for safety. Say you are in the living room having a "date night" in front of the fireplace; that sucker gives off a lot of light. Kids could get traumatized. Gate the hallway before they can make visual contact. Save yourself the explanation.
Take a shower together in the morning before the kids get up for school. Things get all wet and slippery and it makes for a great cover story. The kids know they shower together, why wouldn't mommy and daddy? Plus, you are clean. Bonus.
There is also, the office desk, the kitchen island, the dining room table (on or beneath), the stairs, the garage wall, or even the trampoline or kid's playhouse outside. If you have privacy on your deck and a double chaise lounger, try it. You might like it.
Once the kids are in school, there is nothing like a little afternoon delight. Have your honey take a personal day and spend the whole day just worshipping one another.
If all else fails, ask Grandma to babysit for a few hours and go get a hotel room. Intimacy is the glue that keeps couples together. If you start to neglect the glue, the entire thing falls apart. You've got the love, now make the time to share some intimacy.
Image via Flickr/Aleera
Did you co-sleep? How did you keep your sex life spicy?