I'm actually a pretty bad mom and I'm okay with it

Although that might sound horrible, truth is that judging by current standards of what makes a good parent, I'm probably a terrible mom. I don't really buy into the whole attachment parenting thing, neither one of my kids breastfed past 10 months, we didn't subscribe to co-sleeping, I've been known to spank them on ocassion and, while I love them to death, I do not think they're the center of the universe... not even my universe.

Although I believe in exposing them to new experiences and I've signed up my daughter for ballet classes and swim lessons, I seriously doubt she'll be one of those children whose entire afternoons are packed with extracurricular activities. First because I think it's unnecessary, and second because I can't afford it!


Read more in ¿Qué más?: 9 things every new mom should know

But, according to a recent study, not being an "intensive mom"--one who acts completely opposite to how I do--could be a really good thing for both child and mother. Turns out that researchers have found that "intensive parenting" makes moms more depressed. And if mom is depressed, that can't be bad for the child, regardless of how involved his mother is, right?

In essence, the study found that moms who believe that parenting is challenging and that it takes expert knowledge were more depressed and stressed out than moms who didn't think so many skills were needed. I know for a fact that moms who subscribe to "intense parenting" do so because they believe it's the best way to raise children. I know they do it out of love and so that their kids can reap the benefits later on. The study's researchers plan on looking at whether intensive mothering does actual give kids an advantage.

Want to connect with other moms? Like us on Facebook!

I can only hope, for all those depressed and stressed out moms out there, that the answer is a huge YES!

Do you believe in intense parenting? What have you found is the best way to raise your children? Share your thoughts with us by leaving us a comment below. 

Image via dadblunders/flickr

Topics: child rearing  how to parent  on parenting


nonmember avatar
on Aug 10, 2012 at 10:12 AM
That's OK... Relax! No mother is perfect and I don't think that all mothers want to be perfect. You'd be surprised to hear that many feel just exactly like you. While we all strive to do better, at least better than we think our parents did with us, many feel very unapologetic about their methods and parenting philosophies. It's OK. All those so-called experts don't know everything either, even if they think they do. I adored both my children and would have done anything for them, but I never thought for a moment that they were the center of my universe either - and they've let me down plenty, so I think we're even. Also, I didn't have my mother growing up, so I also did not have the benefit of taking some cues from her, or knowing what the right thing was to do sometimes, and I still think I was a hell of a mother to my children and they certainly turned out alright.
Report this comment
1-1 of 1
To leave a comment on this story, please log in with:
  • Facebook
  • MamásLatinas
  • Comment as a Guest
you are logged in as (logout)
Submitting comment, please wait...