What happens when you want more children, but your husband doesn't?

When people realize that I have two children, one boy and one girl, they always want to know if I want to have more. I'm always super quick to tell them, no way! But the truth is that I always dreamed with a much larger family than the one of four I currently have. When I was younger, I always envied big families and often imagined how much fun it would be to have at least four children, maybe even six. And then, I grew up.

Eventually, I met my husband and since he already had a son from his first marriage, he immediately told me he didn't want to have any more kids. As our relationship got more serious, we talked about this subject again because I couldn't stay with him if he still felt the same way about children. So we came to the agreement that having two would be a happy medium. Secretly, though, I wished we'd agreed on three. 


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After having our first child, though, and realizing how much work it really is to raise one and because I started having children kind of late, I knew having two was the right decision. And yet, as my youngest is quickly leaving toddlerhood behind and I find myself putting his baby stuff away knowing that this will be the last time we'll need any of it in our house, I can't help but feel like maybe I made the wrong decision.

Unfortunately, it's too late now. I will be 40 next year and although more and more women are becoming mothers later in life, it's different when you've already done it. I mean, I'm completely aware of the amount of work, sleepless nights and overall sacrifice involved in having a newborn and I don't think I could--or would really want to--do it all over again.

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But, what if none of that mattered and I really, truly wanted to have a third child? Would I be able to convince my husband or would that mean I'd been deceiving my husband all along? I honestly don't think that if it came down to it I'd be able to change my husband's mind. He didn't even want any more kids to begin with, remember? Luckily, my situation has more to do with nostalgia related to my kids growing up than the actual desire of having a third child. 

How about you? What would happen if you wanted to have more kids, but your husband doesn't? What would you do?

Image via Donald Lee Pardue/flickr

Topics: on parenting  parents and children  marriage