I read an article last night that left me thinking: what would I do if my son (or daughter) was a sex offender? We often spend a lot of time discussing the immediate victims of a sexual offender and how deeply affected they'll be for the rest of their lives. But we rarely ever spend any time talking about the other victims of sex offender, which are his family--more often than not, his mom. 

I know that nothing can ever compare to the pain and suffering of a victim of sexual abuse, but it's undeniable that the mother of a sexual offender has to go through her own hell and share the burden of a crime she didn't commit. 

Read more in ¿Qué más?: Church says sex offenders have right to worship too

Before I even continue writing, I want to clarify that I'm in no way defending a sex offender or taking his or her side. Nothing like that. In fact, while it may sound barbaric, I've always said that, if God forbid one of my children is ever the victim of sexual abuse, I'll have to be restrained because I'm pretty sure I'd like to harm the responsible bastard. Yet, this doesn't take away from the fact that behind that responsible bastard, there's a mom. And what is that mom supposed to do? 

A lot of them often find themselves the targets of the same kind of blame, fear and shame as their children. David Prescott, former president of the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Abusers, told CNN that moms often feel guilty for not noticing the signs earlier or not being able to prevent the abuse from happening. 

Even after someone is arrested and convicted, everyone else distances themselves from the sex offender, there's often the mom trying to figure out what's going to be right for their boy.

Because, again, what is a mom to do? In other words, does your son stop being your son because he committed a heinous crime? I hope to never ever be in those shoes because I can't even begin to imagine how messed up that would be. But I must say that if a mom's love is supposed to be unconditional, then I don't see how I could stop being a mother to my child regardless of what he's done. That does not mean that I would condone or try to minimize what he's done, but it does mean I wouldn't abandon him. 

What would you do if your son was convicted of a sexual offense?

Image via Thinkstock

About the author

Roxana A. Soto is Features Editor of MamásLatinas. She's a bilingual and bicultural journalist born in Peru and raised in Mexico, Argentina, South Africa and Miami. She's also mom to a girl in 3rd grade and a boy in Kinder. She loves books, languages, traveling and good food – especially when cooked by someone else.

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dieha...

i think she is right. i think the registry and all of thse public notification laws need to be taken down immediately. people can defend themselves. lets eliminate public spendiing on law enforcement. bring back deputies and sheriffs in all towns. let people defend themselves. eliminate law enforcement, prosecutors, the court system. and all of these people pretending to know what is right for everybody. we only allow laws that allow people to function effectively in this country not limited to background checks, public notification and the scarring of people's names. their families need to be protected and respected to. their lives are as important as the people we are allegedly protecting. how do we make everyone safe? we dont defame, humiliate, and scar one-time felons. we give them privacy, opportunities for small business loans, an opportunity to educate themselves. an opportunity to make a living and have a family. and let people enjoy the remaining time they have on this planet. thanks everybody.

nonmember avatar
The law is fine. Think of this as a precaution.
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