Can a mom really be jealous of her own baby?

I don't consider myself the most normal person in the world. In fact, I've never really been one to follow trends and I don't get shocked very easily. And yet, reading a mom's confession recently about how she's jealous of her baby daughter made me want to puke.

I gotta give it to the woman, Shanon Cook (an entertainment contributor for CNN), for pouring her heart out about how terrible she feels for being jealous of her little girl. But that still doesn't make me feel bad for her. On the contrary, I feel bad for the child whose mom obviously has some serious issues she should've dealt with before embarking in the most difficult job any woman will ever have. 

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Never, not even once, in all the years I've been a mother--including those as a stepmom to my husband's child from his first marriage--have I felt jealous of my children because their father was paying too much attention to them or was using loving words with them that he originally used with me. But check out what a psychology professor at Georgetown University told Cook about her jealousy:

It's a completely normal reaction. Jealousy is a response to a perceived threat to an important relationship. Part of our feeling of who we are comes from how others treat us, and when one special person seems to shift that treatment to someone else it is normal to feel insecurity and a loss of identity.

Say what? This is your own offspring we're talking about! How can you possibly feel threatened by your own creation? I'm sorry, but regardless of whether or not these so-called experts say it's totally normal for first-time moms to feel this way, they'll never convince me because it just doesn't make any sense.

In fact, I feel bad for dads because with women like this it's damned if they do and damned if they don't. In other words, they complain when their husbands are not involved enough in their children's upbringing, but when they get too chummy with the children, they don't like it either. WTH? Make up your mind, people!
 
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Nothing makes me happier than seeing the love between my husband and our three children. Nothing. I grew up with an extremely loving father too and I wouldn't wish anything less for my own kids. 

Have you ever felt jealous of your baby?

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Topics: on parenting  parents and children