Ok baby, let's have a little talk. We will have hundreds of these moments, where I tell you something you need to know and you may (hopefully) choose to listen to me--or not. Today, I'm going to lay down some wisdom about Mother's Day.

See, for me this will be my first real Mother's Day. Yes, when I was pregnant with you, your father very sweetly bought me gifts and celebrated for me--which was weird for me because I didn't feel like a mom yet. Then last year, you were like, 9 months old and still hadn't slept through the night and were suffering from reflux and ear infections. I seem to have that mommy-amnesia that keeps me from remembering horrible times because I really can't recall how the occasion was marked, which is fine because YOU couldn't really do anything for me for Mother's Day yet anyway.

This year, however, you are almost 2 years old and there are some things it would be great if YOU could do to help me celebrate this day:

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1) Don't have antibiotic-resistant strep throat or some other horrible illness: Wake up without a fever, sniffle, gas pain or nary a hair out of place. Be well, healthy and in a good mood. Because when you are sick, you are--and I say this with love--a miserable little tyrant with absolutely no patience.

2) Let someone cut your nails: By someone, I mean it's OK if it is me (I'd prefer it be your father or one of your aunts or your grandmother but...) as long as someone can cut those disgusting things you call fingernails without having to hold you down like we are about to give you a lethal injection of vampire-zombie juice. They are just nails, it doesn't hurt and they are dirty! It is true what they say about everything changing when you become a mom because the only thing in the world that would make me happy right now would be if these nails--toes included--could be trimmed without World War III ensuing.

3) Play with a different toy: I know you love your train. I love your train. I love when you play with your train. I love that you have learned to say "train" right on schedule. What I don't love is that it is all you say, all you play with and all you will watch on TV. Also, I don't love that I am your favorite train track and that you are constantly trying to shove that train under, or up, a piece of my clothing. Oh yeah, and I really hate stepping on the damn thing--it hurts! Give the trains a break, just for today, pretty please?

4) Feed yourself: I don't mean use the fork and spoon yourself, I mean make your own choices. I am sure you will end up eating nothing but grapes and cheddar bunnies all day, but as long as you get them yourself and make your own decisions for the day, great! Freezer is packed, have at it!

5) Kiss me!: You kiss the trains (obviously), you kiss yourself, you kiss the HOUSE, but you are cheap with the people kisses. Kiss me (and your father so I don't have to hear him whine--it is Mother's Day so give me a break and kiss your grandmothers too please)! But maybe this time, don't give me the antibiotic-resistant strep throat you did last time. That part sucked.

See, that's easy, right? No trip to the store necessary and all of these are things you can do on your own. Letting me sleep would be good to, but you and I had that conversation long ago and well, let's just say, thus far you haven't chosen to follow mommy's wise advice. I'm hopeful that will change, but until then...

What could your toddler do to help you have a good Mother's Day? Answer in the comments below...

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