I hate them just a little

I love my kids more than anything in the world, but sometimes I hate them too.

And I don’t care if other mothers find my saying this outrageous – I am sure that they hate their kids too at times - but they don’t feel comfortable sharing such feeling.

Problem with me is that I use to hate them in silence - until today - when they decided to wake me up on a Saturday at 5:00 am in the morning.

I tried everything – and I mean everything - to put them back to bed, but it simply became a nightmare and ultimately a total failure.

 

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I had been preoccupied all week and the night before I took a Tylenol PM hoping to get at least 7 good hours of sleep.

But no such luck, and when I got abruptly awakened by them, I was completely out of it and I got mad as hell.

Crazy mad.

And I said,

- “Los odio.”

 Yes I did.

It just felt like an undeserving punishment.

Every Saturday and Sunday when my kids wake up a las malditas 5 AM in the morning I have to ask God,

- What is this s***? I don’t deserve such grief, I really don’t, I try my best, I live and die for my two kids, I work really hard and multi-task like a champion, is it too much to ask to get a good night sleep?

Juliana told me during breakfast that I had said something very bad,

- "You said you hated us".

I responded,

- "I didn’t say I hated you –how on earth would I say that? I love you… you are the loves of my life… I said 'Lo odio' –as in 'I hate the situation.'"

She said,

- "Oh…" (and kept eating).

Uff .

That was close.

"I do hate them a little but they don’t have to know it."

Not yet.

Maybe when they turn 18.

Imagen vía Happy Batatinha/Flickr