I would do anything to put my kids to sleep... anything.
I might be the last mother in New York to read Go the F*ck to Sleep. This book has been on the top 10 nonfiction bestsellers for the last 27 weeks and it deserve to stay there. It is the most realistic parenting book I’ve read. And if you haven’t read it, you should.
This book captures my daily struggle trying to put my two-year-old to sleep.
Every night, after we do the regular dinner-teeth-homework-stuff, I tell my kids a story, we do a lot of back and forth with questions and requests and then I leave the room. After that I hear Mamiiiiiiii!!! Ten times, at least.
He may ask for juice first, then milk, then a pillow… then a song.
Yes, a song.
I am not the lullaby mother. My friends always made me feel bad about my inability to carry a tune whenever a song we all liked was playing. Those bitches gave me a complex.
But not my son, Diego actually falls asleep with my horrific singing.
I am convinced that I have gotten better at it with all the practice.
I am embarrassed to tell the rest of the story, and my husband has forbidden me to share it with others, but here I go…
I decided to sing a song to Diego was after exhausting all attempts of making him go to sleep. I was at a loss, for real. What song? I had no repertoire. English or Spanish?
And the only song that came to mind was Toda la Vida by Emanuel.
How embarrassing that I know all the lyrics (I do). So I sang away all about lovers and infidelity and my son loved it. Still does, he calls me night after night and asks for it by name. And I sing for him because for some very weird reason, it puts him to sleep.
In any case, we all do our best to get the kids to bed because we f*cking need time for ourselves, too.
And back to my inspiration, an excerpt I can’t live without:
The tiger reclines in the simmering jungle.
The sparrow has silenced her cheep.
F*ck your stuffed bear, I’m not getting you shit.
Close your eyes. Cut the crap. Sleep.
Is there anything you share with your kids that you know you shouldn’t, but do anyway because it works?
Image via Amazon