When we hear the word "addiction," the first thing that comes to mind is the attachment to substances like alcohol and drugs, which are harmful to the health. It probably doesn't occur to us that there is another type of addictive situations that have nothing to do with drugs but can cause as much or more damage to the one who suffers them.

It is codependency or attachment to another person, who is usually our partner, and maybe you have no idea that you suffer from it. The truth is that you stay in an unhealthy relationship, which does not make you happy, because you subconsciously feel that you cannot live without that someone.

The good news is that, according to experts, the problem of addictive relationships not only can be detected, there are also ways to get over that overwhelming dependency situation. Here's how!

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The first way to deal with a problem is by acknowledging it, especially when it's a matter of a personal nature, such as an addictive relationship. If some of the things listed below happen to you, you might want to consult with a professional or seek help from a close relative.

1. You're incapable of breaking up. A relationship must exist to satisfy us, not to make us anxious. If despite feeling unhappy with that person you are incapable of ending the bond, it is a sign that you are suffering from addiction. Nothing is more inappropriate that prolonging something that doesn't work anymore, out of simple habit or self-deception.

2. He's like your adrenaline. This type of relationship is like riding a motorcycle without a helmet or a vest! You know you can get hurt, but you keep on anyway. If you obsess about seeing him or talking to him even if he mistreats you or doesn't satisfy you as you expect, be alert. In the end, you'll be the most harmed one in this situation and you'll waste a lot of time.

3. There's always an excuse to put up with him. An emotionally healthy person knows when it's time to put a stop to the other person and his destructive attitudes. If you are the type who believes that children, "until death do us part" or whatever society thinks are reason enough to remain by his side, I suggest you open your eyes. We can demand the kind of treatment we deserve and the person we want beside us should try fulfilling it, within his means.

4. You can't bear the thought of losing him. It is true that any break up hurts, especially when enough time has elapsed to generate strong emotional ties. However, not because you "love" him you have to settle for a relationship that doesn't fulfill you. If you freak out just by thinking he will leave, believe me, something is wrong. First you have to love and respect yourself in order to feel good with someone else.

5. Anxiety kills you. This happens every time you entertain the idea or face the fact of your romance ending for good. This can cause you from anxiety attacks and depression, to an almost uncontrollable stress. Believe me, that is no life and if you do not put a stop to your personal drama you can get sick, and that's not the idea!

6. You hate feeling alone. If you're with someone to fill a void, or because you don't want to go back to being single for anything in the world, you're making a serious mistake. Loneliness is not that bad, if you know how to surround yourself with the right friends and dedicate yourself to things that please you. Besides, that is the only way you will open up space in your life for a person that will indeed cover your love expectations. It's worth a try!

Image vía Thinkstock

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About the author

Griseida Díaz has worked in several media outlets in both the United States and her native Venezuela.

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Filed Under: women, relationships, men, marriage, love
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Add Comment Have you been a victim of addiction in your relationships?

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