Man finds out his wife is also his SISTER after years of marriage!
Take a look at your spouse and what do you see? You see your confidant, your one and only, maybe the father of your children ... but what if you learned that he was your brother? For a man who wrote to Slate's "Dear Prudence" advice column, this was his unfortunate reality. The anonymous man, whose lesbian mother conceived him via sperm donor, had decided to surprise his wife with an anniversary gift by tracking down his biological father. He thought his wife, who was also raised by a lesbian couple, would be pleased with his decision to finally find out who his father was.
The only problem was ... he found out that she was his sister. What a crazy, twisted telenovela plot! If your mouth is agape right now by the discovery, don't worry, mine was too! So now what does an advice columnist suggest to the man who is now conflicted as to what he should do regarding his status?
It's an irrational fear of mine that something as crazy as this would happen to me. I can't even imagine what I would do if I was in this man's shoes or how I would break it to my significant other. I mean, what are the odds that this man and his wife ended up having the same sperm donor?
According to the letter he sent in to the site, the couple had met in college, started a life together shortly after, even have three children together. And although the two knew they were products of sperm donors, only his wife ever tracked down her biological father when she was 18. He claims he never had the interest to find out who his was, but as an anniversary gift to his spouse, he wanted to finally find out the identity of his biological father. The problem ... well, it turned out their dad was the same person! Even though he loves his wife he doesn't know whether to tell her and their kids and what steps to take next.
Advice columnist Prudence tells the man in need that he should tell his wife since it's been bothering him so much and that she will notice him acting differently. Prudence suggests that they don't tell the kids, but she does suggest that he and his wife seek a counselor who has dealt with issues like this before. She makes it a point to say that once this becomes old news; they'll see that they were the same people before he learned of their commonality.
As sound as this columnists advice is ... knowing myself this piece of information would still drive me crazy. I'm sure there have been many people who have gone through this before (and it's probably becoming more and more common as artificial insemination gains popularity), and they succeeded in getting past it, but it's quite a lot to swallow when it is first discovered. I hope this man does what he feel is best for his relationship and that his wife handles it as maturely as possible. I guess as they say, every relationship goes through its bumpy roads and this one for sure is a hump both of them can get over if they maintain an open mind and heart.
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