People say that female intuition never fails, but there's also a saying that's very true: No hay peor ciego que el que no quiere ver (basically, there isn't a worse blind man than he who refuses to see). So perhaps your intuition is whispering in your ear that your significant other has changed, but you always brush that feeling aside with excuses. To put those nagging fears to rest once and for all, here are the top 10 signs that your husband or significant other is indeed not into you anymore.

1. He doesn't treat you like he did before. I'm not talking about the fact that maybe his eyes don't light up anymore when he sees you or he gives you a nice compliment every single day. A relationship does evolve with time, but any drastic unexplained change--for example his complete lack of interest--should worry you.

2. He doesn't want to be alone with you. Every day, you guys spend less and less time together because he doesn't want to spend it with you. He'd rather be alone or with the kids at home than spending some free time with you. Friends are always more interesting to him than your own company. That's a bad sign. 

3. He's always looking to do things that don't include you. When a couple becomes family with the arrival of kids, special effort has to be made to keep the connection alive. If your husband prefers to buy himself a motorcycle, say, instead of a car that you AND your family can use, or he enrolls in an auto mechanics course that takes up many hours of his week, then you should begin to be wary.

4. You have nothing to talk about. A huge part of parents' lives seems like just an exchange of information: What things have been done, what's still left to do? Did you take the car to the mechanic? What did the pediatrician say? When are we taking Pedrito to his baseball game? But when that conversation is gone and silence rules, there's something seriously not working. Even worse, if when you talk he ignores you, be warned: You have to do something--and fast!

5. Planning as a couple is a thing of the past. If your significant other doesn't make plans with you anymore, like he did before, then it's a clear sign that he just doesn't feel that same desire to share his time and his life with you anymore.

 6. Long, sad faces are the norm. Before, your relationship used to have plenty of laughs, jokes, playfulness. Now everything is serious and you've both lost that sese of complicity. That speaks a lot to a loss of connection between a couple.

7. The sex is gone. If there is mor happening on your favorite telenovela than in your bed, I'm sorry you have to tell you that you have to be seriously worried.

8. Friends and kids before you. Anything is better for him than having to dedicate time to both of you--even if that means doing things that he used to find dreadful in the past!

9. The small gestures have disappeared. Not eveyone has the same way of showing their love with small gestures toward their partners. To some, the traditional flowers or jewelry are the rule, but to others, a small gift or a nice foot massage while you watch TV is their way of showing how much they care. If he's completely abandoned trying to make you feel important, things are cold and you need to watch out.

10. Everything you do annoys him. When you first started dating, every single little quirk of your personality were super cute to him. Now, everything--including even how you chew your food!--bothers him. Ring the alarms!

Now, before you despair, think about what's going on in your lives. Is there anything going on that may explain the lack of connection? Has he lost his job? Are you going through some stressful times as a family? If the answer to any of these is no, then it's time to shake up your relationship! Try to do something new. Plan a fun date night. Get his attention with a new haircut and some sexy lingerie. Don't whine--that makes him disconnect even more. Simply try to intrigue him, pretend you have a secret that he NEEDS to know. In other words, MAKE him think about you.

Good luck shaking things up!

Image via Thinkstock

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About the author

Alicia Civita lives in Florida, with her Argentinian husband, her two boys, 7 and 10 years old, her two rescued pit bulls, a parrot, and a red bearded lizard. She has lived and written from Caracas, Madrid, Rio de Janeiro, Buenos Aires, and New York, among other cities. Since becoming a mom she has learned to sew, craft, and play videogames. She dreams with hosting a party with all of her Facebook friends.

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