Oh. My. God. I miss my husband. He will be gone for a whole month this time and Skype is simply not enough anymore.

Yesterday he suggested "Skype sex" but I look hideous on that camera--like even when I'm only talking--so the notion of my Skype nakedness, doesn't appeal to me. I would be obsessing about my looks, thus unable to concentrate on sex.

So when I explained all of this to him, he suggested, "Why not go back to the good old phone sex?"  We'd done this a couple of times back when we were still just dating and living in two different countries.

So I said, "Ok, let's try it out!"

Read more ¿Qué más? It's time for more oral sex!

Here it goes ladies, I am going to share my, ahem, knowledge, from past experiences with phone sex. Not to toot my own home, but I've actually got some damn good advice and believe me, this is definitely something to consider if your partner is away for a while (because sometimes, we simply need to get some).

The first thing you have to do is to make sure that he is actually game for phone sex. Not everyone is into it. God knows I wasn't at first, but I was so in love at the time--that passionate, on fire kind of love at the beginning of a relationship--that to my surprise, phone sex came easy.

Phone sex these days is enhanced by the phone camera, sending pictures of each other makes it 100% better. But in my case I keep the photos in the PG-13 zone, because my husband doesn't delete them like he should. Let's just say once a colleague of his learned more about me than I would ever expect him to.

NOTE: Don't send naked pictures over your cell phone or computer if you wouldn't be 100% comfortable with them winding up children's hands (I would die). 

Read more ¿Qué más? Blame your ovaries for your bad taste in men!

Prepare the scene. Once you're good to go, make sure that you're in a place where you have a good reception, so that you don't get interrupted constantly. This totally kills the mood. Also, make sure that no soul is in sight--and by this I mean make sure your kids are knocked out snoring.

Relax alone for 5 minutes. Spend a few moments before your call breathing. Relaxation is key to building arousal, so breathe in and breathe out in order to get in the zone. This is also important so that you don't end up talking about the problems you are experiencing with the dishwasher or the kid's teacher.

Start slow. Let your partner know that you've been thinking about him all day and wanting him every minute. Some people like to start by finding out what the other person is wearing or what they are doing, so that they can get a good visual, to enhance their arousal and prepare for take off!

Pay attention to his cues. Try to notice when he starts to get revved up. Men are less sensitive than us but for me, phone sex has to be accompanied by love, not just dirty talk. I like a combination of both, I guess I am bit of a romantic.

The timing. In some ways, orgasms during phone sex are similar to orgasms in real life. If you two are interested in trying to have orgasms during phone sex, you can take turns or you can try to have an orgasm at the same time. But this, as we all know, can be challenging and is reserved only for overachievers.

Remember to cuddle. Don't rush to get off the phone after you're done. Spend at least a few minutes afterwards phone-cuddling, or take a breather and then call each other back to exchange an "I love you".

Afterwards, be prepared to have a great night sleep and feel very proud of yourself. 

What do you say? Are you ready to try phone sex?

Image via Thinkstock

About the author

Sofia was born in Mexico and moved to New York in 1997. She has a 6-year-old girl and a 2-year-old boy who are usually the main characters in her blog Slap cada día. After  a long career in advertising, last year she decided to leave the corporate world to chase her own entrepreneurial dreams and work on her writing.

 

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