When a couple thinks they're being romantic, but they're making no sense. 1
Sure, Romeo and Juliet were in love, but guess what? They ended up dead. You might not want to be "just like them."
Make sure to practice looking surprised if you’re going to be your own secret admirer. 2
There is no rule that says your secret admirer can't be you. But if you want other people to think that it's someone other than you, then you best practice a look of pleasant surprise in front of the mirror so that you get it right.
The perfect answer for when people keep asking about your love life. 3
Tell them that every day you’re more alone. Only say it “Cada Día Mazola” and show your interrogator this meme to make them laugh.
Don't forget about the best part of Valentine's Day. 5
It's the day after when all the V-Day candy is half off. Go first thing in the morning so you don't miss out.
Keep it real, and you won't be disappointed. 6
It's pointless to expect someone to show up with flowers for you at work if you don't have someone in your life who does that kind of thing. Instead of hoping for the impossible, be real with yourself and eat your delicious torta or whatever it is you like to have for lunch.
How good is your aim with a chancla? 7
Valentine's Day might be a great opportunity to get some chancla target practice in. Especially if your child is crushing on someone you don't approve of.
You don't have to wait for someone to tell you they love you. 8
Grab your vacuum cleaner attachment and let yourself know exactly how you feel about yourself. Then when you're done, you may as well vacuum.
If you are going to believe the hype, also be careful. 9
Let's not forget that love is keeping those you love healthy. Wash your hands often, and be careful out there.
When you want to say "I love you" but aren't quite ready. 11
Say it with a Valentine that makes it clear that your love for your sweetie is right up there with your love of tacos. That's a whole lotta love.
What is there to think about? 12
Best proposition ever: "You, me, and some taquitos in the shape of a heart, I don't know, think about it." Again, what is there to think about?
Been there, done that! 13
What, like you've never overdone it by eating two dinners? Well, if that's the case, just know that the food hangover is real.
When you get warned at work about using them as an excuse. 14
Planning on doing something you shouldn't be doing on Valentine's Day? You better not work at a place like this one that has a policy on ratting you out to your spouse.
Some couples are just perfect together. 15
Kind of like how eggs and weenies go together perfectly for breakfast. Or at least that's what a lot of us grew up eating.
Uh, some of us prefer our fruit covered in something other than chocolate. 16
Chocolate-covered strawberries are so played out. Spice things up with Tajín-covered strawberries instead.
The face you make when your boo doesn't want to go out on Valentine's Day. 18
You want to go out, but your partner doesn't want to? It's OK--just stare at them like this until they relent.
Don't believe the hype. 19
No matter what anyone says, love is not in the air. The air isn't made out of love on Valentine's Day or any other day.
One person's Valentine's Day is another person's mental health day. 20
Listen, if you absolutely hate Valentine's Day, do like this guy. Take a vacation day, a personal day, a mental health day, a whatever-you-want-to-call-it day, and sleep your way right through it. You will look incredibly refreshed come February 15 when you're at the store bright and early buying all the 50% off Valentine's Day candies.