Like never before, Gisele is sharing a lot of aspects from her personal life in her memoir.
"Things can be looking perfect on the outside, but you have no idea what's really going on," she told People. "I felt like maybe it was time to share some of my vulnerabilities, and it made me realize, everything I've lived through, I would never change because I think I am who I am because of those experiences."
She revealed she had her first panic attack during a flight in 2003.
Gisele said that after she experienced turbulence while on a small plane, she developed a fear of enclosed places like tunnels and elevators, which brought on the panic attacks. "I had a wonderful position in my career, I was very close to my family, and I always considered myself a positive person, so I was really beating myself up. Like, 'Why should I be feeling this?' I felt like I wasn’t allowed to feel bad," she told the publication. "But I felt powerless. Your world becomes smaller and smaller, and you can’t breathe, which is the worst feeling I’ve ever had."
Gisele said the anxiety was so high at one point, it made her consider jumping off a balcony.
"I actually had the feeling of, 'If I just jump off my balcony, this is going to end, and I never have to worry about this feeling of my world closing in,'" she said, revealing that a physician prescribed her Xanax but she chose to change her lifestyle instead. "The thought of being dependent on something felt, in my mind, even worse, because I was like, 'What if I lose that [pill]? Then what? Am I going to die?' The only thing I knew was, I needed help."
Gisele had husband Tom's love and support throughout it all.
"He just said, 'I love you no matter what' and that I looked beautiful," she shared. "This was definitely another lesson: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. But I wish I would have learned that a different way." Her book will be available in stores on Tuesday, October 2.