Stop trying to change her. 1
Accept that some things about her are never going to change.
Let your smile be your secret weapon. 2
It's very hard to be mean or unkind to someone who is flashing you a gorgeous smile. Smile often when you are around your mother-in-law.
Go on a date with her. 3
Do something fun and unexpected like getting professional photos taken of just you and her. She'll feel flattered and your children will treasure the photos later in life.
Give her space and back off a bit. 5
Let her hang out with your husband or your kids without you always hovering around. That way she never feels like she has to compete for attention.
Don't forget to focus on the positive and be grateful. 6
You are doing everyone in your family a disservice if all you notice are your suegra's flaws. She has to have some good qualities that you can focus on. Does she love your kids? Does she provide childcare sometimes? Whatever she does that's good, notice and go on and thank her for it.
Remember that respect goes both ways. 7
How can you expect the woman to respect you if you are constantly rolling your eyes at her, talking down to her or ignoring her? Treat her the way you want to be treated.
Make her feel welcome and wanted. 8
Drop the lukewarm greetings. Hug the woman that raised the person you fell in love with and make her feel welcome and wanted.
Don't be passive aggressive. 9
Do not use snide comments to try and let your mother-in-law know that she is crossing the line or hurting your feelings. You are a grown woman, talk to her directly and like a grown up. You may be surprised by her reaction.