7 Things every single mom needs to know before she starts dating
The dating world is tough for us single ladies. Sure, there are plenty of apps to choose from, but that doesn't make dating as a single mom in 2016 any easier. Getting back in the dating game when you have kids can be quite daunting. How do you even start? A few experts provided smart tips to help you successfully navigate the single mom dating scene. Check it out!
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Lose the guilt: "Moms tend to feel guilty when they do something that is for themselves, as opposed to doing something for their kids," says Honorée Corder, executive coach and author of The Successful Single Mom Finds Love. "Single moms have a heavier guilt load because it seems like a selfish act to take time away for fun," she adds. Corder recommends making time to do things that make you happy and reminding yourself of all the good qualities you have to offer before getting back out there.
Get yourself out there: It's 2016, so that mean you have options. "She can get out there by asking for introductions or trying reputable dating sites or even services," says Corder who suggests eHarmony.com or Match.com. "Let your friends, family and co-workers know you're looking to date, and then go on some dates!"
Start slow: You want to make sure you take your time. "Most women who are afraid to date, have a deeper tendency of not allowing themselves to be loved and supported in all areas of their life," says Mai Vu, author of Divorced Mom's Guide to Dating--How to Be Loved, Adored and Cherished. "So start small, with letting other people come into your life to help you with little things. Teach yourself to trust, love and support again."
Let the person you're seeing know you have kids ASAP: Vu recommends letting a guy know you have kids right away. "Because having kids is an asset not a deficit, as most women think," says Vu.
Be straight forward: "[State] your purpose for dating," says Corder. "I'm dating because I want to meet someone, fall in love and get married or I'm dating to have a great time. Stating your purpose for dating at the outset avoids wasting time."
Find the right time to tell your kids: Just because you're dating doesn't mean you need to tell your kids immediately. "Keep it under wraps until you're fairly certain the person you're dating is going to be around," says Corder. "Kids get attached quickly and it is hard on them to let someone go. When you do talk to your kids about dating, keep it low key, like you're just hanging out with a friend."
There is no right time to introduce your new partner to your kids: "There isn't a right time, but I suggest you feel confident in the relationship first," says Corder. "When you know he's going to be around for a awhile that's a good time."
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