"Take your time having kids, I'm in no hurry to be an abuela." 1
Has any suegra ever said that? It seems like mother-in-laws expect you to go into baby makin' mode right away, but heaven forbid you get pregnant before the wedding.
"Thank goodness he married you instead of his ex." 2
This would be nice instead of how she usually goes on and on about how successful his ex is and how she still misses her. Sigh.
"Have you lost weight, you look incredible?!" 3
Usually it's more like, "Oh, you look so llena de vida!" Code for "you're fat."
"Your house is always so clean." 5
This would be a welcome change to getting constant suggestions about what cleaning products you should be using and how you should be cleaning.
"Mi'jo, iron your own shirts." 6
But what she usually says is, "Pobrecito, nadie te plancha la ropa" and all you can do is roll your eyes when she's not looking
"Don't be a flojo, help your wife more!" 7
You might die from a patatus if you hear this, but it would be so worth it.
"I'm staying out of this because it's none of my business." 8
Said no suegra ever!
"It's your home, what you say goes." 9
Imagine your suegra saying that in your home "tú mandas." OMAIGA, that would be awesome.