9 Signs you were raised Catholic

Virgen de GuadalupeIt will come as no surprise that being born into a large family of Mexican Catholics, I myself was raised Catholic. Yup, I was. I wouldn't say that I am Catholic anymore, I actually tend to say that I am a "recovering Catholic." I don't mean any disrespect to Catholics, I'm just not one anymore, but Catholicism has marked me for life. Spend a little time around me or anyone who was raised Catholic and at some point we will give ourselves away.


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Here are nine signs that you were raised Catholic:

1. Red wine reminds you of the blood of Christ. Once you get past those first few sips you forget about it, but it's there in the back of your head.

2. Fridays are for fish. Fish just feels like the perfect meal to end the week with.

3. You are afraid of the devil. I mean technically you may not really believe in the devil anymore, but when it's dark out or you're scared, olvídate, you keep an eye out for el demonio. Get behind me, Satanás!

4. You don't "get" plain churches or places of worship. I mean if you are going to go to church, the church may as well be ornate and have beautiful stained windows, right?

5. You cross yourself like it's some kind of reflexive twitch. You curse, you cross yourself. You talk bad about someone, you cross yourself. You are in a scary situation, you cross yourself. You really want that last donut in the display case at the bakery, you cross yourself.

6. You pray. Yup, you walk around saying prayers in your head like all the time, some made up, but sometimes you say a few Hail Marys or Padre Nuestros because it can't hurt and it kind of calms you.

7. You and guilt are homies like from way back and will be forever and ever. Is there ever a time you don't feel guilty? Catholic guilt is no joke and not something that you can easily shake off. When in doubt you default to guilt.

8. Your are always ready to confess. Even if you didn't do anything bad, you know you thought about it, so you better get it off your chest or you're going to feel all kinds of guilt about it.

9. You decorate your house with pictures of virgins and saints. For some reason religious iconography is beautiful to you, of course you want that giant picture of the Virgencita up on your wall. Or those velas with all the saints are so kitschy cute, qué no?

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Topics: humor  religion  catholic