Best news ever boys! Squeezing boobies helps prevent breast cancer
What I'm about to say is going to make lots of ladies and gents very happy--it's official: scientists recently found that squeezing breasts can actually help fight breast cancer!
But wait--before everyone starts whipping their greedy hands out of their pockets, just hear out the reasoning first.
Researchers held an experiment in which they grew malignant cells in silicone and squeezed the silicone during the first stages of cell growth. What they found was that applying physical pressure can essentially stop cells from developing abnormally and guide them back to their normal growth patterns.
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Gautham Venugopalan, a lead member of the University of California in Berkeley team that participated in the study, likens it to other forms of physical force. "When we lift weights our muscles get bigger. The force of gravity is essential to keeping our bones strong," he said. "Here we show that physical force can play a role in the growth--and reversion--of cancer cells."
Well, it's surely not the most unpleasant way of battling cancer! Still, I can't help but feel like the results should have come with a disclaimer, as in: These findings do not give anyone permission to go around squeezing women's breasts without their consent. 'Cause seriously it would not surprise me in the least if some fool decided it was their God-given duty to play doctor and go around putting their little grubby fingers on ladies' boobs!
Still, the results are great news if only because it provides a much less harsh alternative to other methods of battling cancer. Though it can't act as a replacement for chemo if that kind of treatment is necessary, it can help put you on the right track in the early stages. So…what are you waiting for? Squeeze away!
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