Your big boobs are probably going to kill you!

I have pretty big knockers, or hooters or cha-chas or whatever your favorite euphemism for breasts is.

I didn't always. As a matter of fact, my big boobs didn't grow in until my sophomore year of college. Thank God for small favors actually, because before then I was a full-on athlete and I don't think big ol' breasts would've made that experience all that fun.

Anyways, after a few years of a love/hate relationship with my breasts I finally came to fully embrace them and their size and learned how to take care of them--you know by buying the correct bra size and dressing in ways that either minimized or enhanced them, depending on what I was going for that day (wink, wink). But now, a new book is out suggesting that big breasts might be really bad for your health, and honestly, it's bumming me out!


I won't be the only one affected either. The average breast size in the U.S. has grown from a 34B to a 36C in just one generation, which is a pretty big leap in such a short time. Author Florence Williams, who wrote a new book called Breasts: A Natural and Unnatural History, points out that the trend towards bigger breasts can have adverse health consequences--and it's not just back pain, as you might be assuming.

Apparently, the correlation between bigger breasts and bigger waistlines is very troubling to Williams. The size of our fun bags is tied to how early we go through puberty, which has--disturbingly enough--hit an all-time low average age of 10 years old. Unfortunately, the younger we go through puberty the more likely we are to struggle with weight issues or become obese as we get older. 

The other troubling trend Williams points to is the fact that if you have big breasts, you are probably absorbing and holding on to more toxins because of all that fatty tissue--even if you AREN'T overweight. So, though your milkshake might be bringing all the boys to yard, it might also be keeping a greater concentration of nasty chemicals like mercury and Polychlorinated biphenyls in your body.

"What happens in our environment is reflected in our breasts," she said, according to USA Today. "If we really care about human health, we need to care about our planet."

WHAAAAAA! This just doesn't seem fair. I mean, come on--bigger breasted women already have to deal with so many annoying things in life. It's relatively impossible to find a sun dress that doesn't wind up looking downright pornographic. Babies tend to grab at your boobs and want to snuggle into your chest (cute as it is, it's embarassing people!)-- and don,t even get me started on the dudes who forget you even have a face. I guess we just have to add this health risk to the ever expanding list of reasons why having big boobs can be both a blessing and a curse. Sigh...

Have you ever worried about the health risk of having bigger breasts? Would you ever consider a reduction? Tell us in the comments below!

Image via malingering/flickr


on Jun 19, 2012 at 11:39 PM

That's why more insurances should cover breast reduction.  I have not been less than a DDD in more than 20 years, no matter how much weight I lose.  I hate my breast, always have, because if it is not a stretchy fabric I can't find shirts.  I am currently a G, because I am overweight, but they are the biggest cause of weight in my body.  

Report this comment
on Jun 20, 2012 at 2:17 AM

LOL isnt it always the same...girls with curly hair want straight hair and the str8 haired ones get perms.  Big boobs?   Those are what I call good problems!  Complaining about them is like Bill Gates complaining about having to much money!  Yes I know they might be a hassle at times but you got to admit it does have its advantages...As for the health issues...well everything we eat and do puts us at risk for something...might as well look good.

Report this comment
on Jun 20, 2012 at 3:41 PM

Hahaha the good thing is that I don´t have big boobs!! I don´t have to worry about that :)

Report this comment
ML Irina
on Jun 20, 2012 at 4:57 PM

Oh geez... well, THAT'S no fun! But as someone who's had big boobs AND small thanks to a lot of weight loss & gain, I gotta say it's def better with bigger boobs LOL


Report this comment
on Jun 21, 2012 at 5:24 PM

Well luckily mine are "small and humble so you don't confuse them with mountains" like Shakira said lol...

Report this comment
nonmember avatar
on Jul 10, 2012 at 6:12 AM
Ive been dealing with back pain for over 25 years due to my large breast! I hate my breast at times because nothing fits, my breast pop out, depending on what im wearing....ive considered a breast reduction, but too afraid of surgery and complications that can develop after surgery....i try to love my breast, but cant they are too big for my body frame and I look funny!! Lol....
Report this comment
1-7 of 7
To leave a comment on this story, please log in with:
  • Facebook
  • MamásLatinas
  • Comment as a Guest
you are logged in as (logout)
Submitting comment, please wait...