Your big boobs are probably going to kill you!

I have pretty big knockers, or hooters or cha-chas or whatever your favorite euphemism for breasts is.

I didn't always. As a matter of fact, my big boobs didn't grow in until my sophomore year of college. Thank God for small favors actually, because before then I was a full-on athlete and I don't think big ol' breasts would've made that experience all that fun.

Anyways, after a few years of a love/hate relationship with my breasts I finally came to fully embrace them and their size and learned how to take care of them--you know by buying the correct bra size and dressing in ways that either minimized or enhanced them, depending on what I was going for that day (wink, wink). But now, a new book is out suggesting that big breasts might be really bad for your health, and honestly, it's bumming me out!


I won't be the only one affected either. The average breast size in the U.S. has grown from a 34B to a 36C in just one generation, which is a pretty big leap in such a short time. Author Florence Williams, who wrote a new book called Breasts: A Natural and Unnatural History, points out that the trend towards bigger breasts can have adverse health consequences--and it's not just back pain, as you might be assuming.

Apparently, the correlation between bigger breasts and bigger waistlines is very troubling to Williams. The size of our fun bags is tied to how early we go through puberty, which has--disturbingly enough--hit an all-time low average age of 10 years old. Unfortunately, the younger we go through puberty the more likely we are to struggle with weight issues or become obese as we get older. 

The other troubling trend Williams points to is the fact that if you have big breasts, you are probably absorbing and holding on to more toxins because of all that fatty tissue--even if you AREN'T overweight. So, though your milkshake might be bringing all the boys to yard, it might also be keeping a greater concentration of nasty chemicals like mercury and Polychlorinated biphenyls in your body.

"What happens in our environment is reflected in our breasts," she said, according to USA Today. "If we really care about human health, we need to care about our planet."

WHAAAAAA! This just doesn't seem fair. I mean, come on--bigger breasted women already have to deal with so many annoying things in life. It's relatively impossible to find a sun dress that doesn't wind up looking downright pornographic. Babies tend to grab at your boobs and want to snuggle into your chest (cute as it is, it's embarassing people!)-- and don,t even get me started on the dudes who forget you even have a face. I guess we just have to add this health risk to the ever expanding list of reasons why having big boobs can be both a blessing and a curse. Sigh...

Have you ever worried about the health risk of having bigger breasts? Would you ever consider a reduction? Tell us in the comments below!

Image via malingering/flickr