This "bed of lies" can be yours for just $150, but buyer beware!
Have you been through one of those awful breakups where you find out that the person you love(d) is a lying cheater? It's even worse when you've entwined your life with that person's so much that everyday things like your mattress remind you of them and their awful lies. How do you deal with it? Well if you are anything like this delightful person from San Francisco, you channel your heartbreak, anger, and old mattress into a great ad and deal on Craigslist.
On July 31 someone posted an ad on Craigslist (San Francisco) for a Simmons Beautyrest mattress for only $150. The mattress is only three years old and worth much more, but the seller is eager to get rid of it for such a low price in order to "go buy a Fleshjack and a handle of whiskey" and because it reminds them of "sleeping next to a lying cheater."
This ad is written by someone who may be unlucky in love, but is a comedic genius. Since the mattress is being sold in San Francisco where I live, I almost want to buy it just so I can meet the person, but I would need help carrying it and I know the person selling it wouldn't help me get it out of their home because they wrote:
And no, I won't help you get it out to your car. There are only eleven steps up to my apartment. You figure it out. I was going to sell the mattress for $200 but I figured it was worth the $50 to watch someone else have to struggle over this oppressive burden.
I would just like to say to the person who posted this wonderful ad, that they are magic. Whoever you are, know that you have turned your pain and heartbreak into humor and have put a smile on my face and I'm sure the face of many others. I wish you luck in getting rid of your "literal bed of lies." As for your ex, I say, good riddance to bad rubbish. As for you and your fantastic sense of humor, I have no doubt you can do and will do so much better.
Image via Craigslist