'I Love Jenni' recap: Jenni Rivera's tragic death & her unresolved issues with Chiquis

I felt as if I was reliving Jenni Rivera's death in tonight's episode of I Love Jenni. It was incredibly emotional from beginning to end, only this time I got some insight into how this tragic experience was for the family she left behind. I was especially affected by how the Diva de la Banda's death took a toll on her daughter, Chiquis who never had an opportunity to mend things with her.

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The episode begins with new reports of Jenni Rivera's missing plane. The singer had just performed her biggest concert ever at Monterrey Area in Mexico and they were flying out on a private jet. The family starts to talk about the plane crash and their response to the news and it was incredibly heart-breaking. I was definitely a little teary-eyed, I'll tell you that!

The crazy thing is how amazing and energetic, Jenni seemed to be at her last show. It was so emotional for her, that after her 4 hour performance she started to express to her crew backstage on how overwhelmed but happy she felt about all the love her fans had expressed to her. "Too much love," is how she described it.

Chiquis goes on to talk about how Jenni's fans pretty much kept her strong during her hardest moments. "I don't think that the fans knew how much their support meant to my mom," she said.

One of the moments that spoke to me the most was the scene with Jenni performing "Paloma Negra," a song about her oldest daughter Chiquis. The two hadn't been talking for a few months prior to her death, but so far the show hasn't revealed exactly what they were arguing about. That is until I saw this scene. Jenni grabs a glass of wine before singing with the lines beginning with, "Ya me canso a llorar y no amanece/Ya no sé si maldecirte o por tí resar/ Tengo miedo de buscarte y de encontrate/ Dónde me aseguran mis amigas que te vas." The heart-breaking tune describes Jenni's pain over loosing her daughter and her desire to look for her.

"Like every mother and daughter, we had a disagreement. Those few months without my mom without talking with her were so hard," said Chiquis. But what was particularly interesting to me was the fact that it looked like Jenni REALLY wasn't talking to Chiquis over Esteban. She goes on to talk about how she wrote her mother an email on Thanksgiving saying, "Mom you need to hear me out, whatever people are saying it's not true. And I told her I loved her." It's devastating to me that these two missed out on talking for months because of ugly rumors. It appears that Jenni did believe at one point that Chiquis may have really had an affaird with her ex-husband.

"I heard she read it and she cried and she missed me. It made me feel like okay she gets it," said Chiquis who went on to mention how Jenni had invited her to spend Christmas with her and the family. This is so terribly sad!

Things got even darker as Jenni's family members go into detail about the plane crash. No one seemed to want to accept that something had happened to her. It came as just a surprise to them as it did to fans. "We were getting the same information the public was getting, they weren't saying anything they were just saying she was missing," said Jacqui.

Jenni's brother, Juan Rivera explained practically breaking down how difficult it was to break the news to his family when he received the confirmation and proof that Jenni was in fact dead. "How do you tell 5 kids that their mom is gone and how do you tell a mother that her daughter is gone also," he said holding back tears.

"When they told me my mom wasn't coming back, oh my God I feel to my knees," a tearful Chiquis went on to say. "I looked at my grandma and I said no and I yelled. I just cried like I never cried before. And something told me, it was my mom, 'Chiquis you need to be strong.' And then I felt better, I said 'ok mom, ok I will.' I don' t wish that pain upon anybody ever, I miss her so much."

The grieving family even decided to go on with their Christmas drama as a means to healing. It was almost therapeutic for them. They even compared her to Mary, because she was a woman who had faced all this suffering yet was always able to bring herself back up. What allowed them to live again was finding the strength in knowing that no matter what Jenni went through, whether it was being a poor, struggling single mom of 5, or dealing with domestic violence, or experiencing an ugly, divorce she always came up with the strength to rise back up again. "They say one person can change the world. I saw it," Jenni's sister Rosie said in regards to Jenni.

Times like this really make you want to appreciate all the love ones in your life. Jenni will definitely always be missed!

Image via Mun2

Topics: i love jenni  jenni rivera