My most mortifying TV moment

Everyone has a public appearance nightmare--you know, the play where you forgot your lines, the microphone that didn't turn on, the wardrobe malfunction.

I had my little nightmare recently, as a guest on 99, an entertainment show on the new channel Soi TV. I'd been invited to talk about my book and my career as a journalist.

I had my suspicions when I realized the hosts didn't know anything about me, but what the heck--TV hosts are great at doing things on the fly, so I figured I was worried over nothing.



"What do you want to talk about?" one of them asked as I did my makeup.

"Whatever works for your show, but I'd love to mention my novels," I responded.

All good, right? Eh. 

I got miked backstage and was also given an ear monitor--a the little earpieces like secret service-men use that allow producers to give instructions to you even as the show is filmed. As a guest I thought it strange, but went along with it.  I could hear every word the producer spoke. Instructions on how to introduce me, countdowns and then, there I was, on camera with the two hosts, having a nice conversation.

Or so I thought. Not a minute had gone by when I heard the producer in my ear.

"This is so boring."

I adjusted my earpiece and kept smiling away.

"Blah, blah blah," continued the producer.

Was this really happening? The host asked about my novel and in my ear, the producer sighed.

"Boooring. Show the book and cut."

I kissed my nice interviewers goodbye, and walked backstage.

"That was great!" said the assistant producer, a very nice and professional man.

 "I don't think so," I said dryly, and told him what happened.

I think he was even more mortified than I was a minute before, but he was off-camera.

As for me, at least I got a good make-up job, although I won't be going to Soi TV anytime soon. 

What is YOUR public appearance nightmare story?

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