Butt implants are SO not attractive at all!

By now, the performances on Premio lo Nuestro have been dissected and pondered to death. What REALLY riveted me was this year's red carpet--it was packed to the gills, glamorous and chock-full of artists, celebrities, publicists and Univisión personalities. It was, I have to say, truly entertaining—the interviews, the fans, the outfits.

But I was most struck by the reigning aesthetic of many of the evening-gown clad women: long, straight hair; small, pert noses; balloon-like breasts accentuated by deep cleavages; and finally, buttocks blown up so prominently one could balance a tray on them.

When did we become this weird perversion of the Barbie doll?

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I have unruly curly hair, so I get it. The only reason I haven't invested a fortune in a Keratin treatments is that my kids love the curls. But everything else is so dramatically different from who we really are, and it's so painful to achieve that I wonder if this is some insidious form of punishment devised by the anti-immigrant movement.

Years ago--does anyone still remember?--Latinas used to have small breasts and generous butts. We were always working on those butts, doing leg-lifts, the stairmaster, you name it, and we had something to show for it. Latinas looked great in string bikinis (hey, it's not called the Brazilian wax for nothing).

Now, most everybody has humongous breasts, and for reasons I can't decipher, they also seem to want humongous butts. Enter the butt implants, with a caveat: While certain breasts implants can look beautiful and natural, butt implants never do.

What compels women to put silicone or fat injections into their rear-ends? Those things would look grotesque in a string bikini. Correction: Those things look grotesque in anything. And that padded girdle they sell? It has the same effect, which is to say a bad one!

I take heart in knowing that some of my favorite artists--Laura Pausini, Shakira, Natalia Jimenez, Paulina Rubio--haven't had butt implants. Heck, they haven't even had breast implants and they still look, and sound, great.

What do you think about all the plastic surgery strutting down the red carpet lately? Do you think butt implants ever look good?

Image via The Grosby Group